It’s a month into 2018 and we’ve had 3 cuts, 2 dislocations, 2 doctor visits, an MRI Scan, a viral infection and a surgery between my two boys. I’ve been stressed, exhausted and at times, at my crankiest. There were times when I felt guilty, scared, clueless and anxious.
The first time the little boy fell down I was away at a meeting. The school, when they failed to get me on phone, reached out to my friend who, along with B, went to the school, picked up the little boy and brought him home. The mommy guilt crept in for not being there by Adhrith's side when he was hurt. I was torn between attending work and going back home. My friend stood her ground, told me to finish my meetings without being worried, made my little boy sleep and took care of him in the same way I would have. By the time I was back, everything was taken care of by daddy dearest and Nitika aunty.
Two weeks into January, B dislocated his shoulder twice in the same week, and a doctor visit and MRI revealed that he needed a surgery to take care of that. As we sat wondering where to get the surgery done, Achan (my dad) went a step ahead and shared the report with our family orthopedic surgeon back home, and suggested that it was best to get the surgery done in Kerala because of the family support back home.
Yesterday, B got done with his surgery. I was scared deep in my mind the last whole week although I tried being calm and cool in the outside. There were times when I lost my cool, cried my heart out, and even fought with B. I am calmer now, heartbeat back to normal and as the day comes to an end, I can’t help but think of the blessing called friends and family in my life.
This month showed me how I always have help just a call away, sometimes even before that! This month showed me how there is always someone to listen to my vents be it late in the night or early in the morning. I know I couldn’t have passed a day without these people in my life. As B was wheeled to the operation theatre, all of a sudden I felt scared. Right then, a message came from Achan - "just relax". That message brought exactly that! Amma, whose prayers are the best one that I believe in, was with me the whole day and helping me with everything when B was wheeled back to the room. My sister in law, for whom it would have been way past her bedtime, kept messaging me, chatting about random stuffs and kept me engaged until B was out of the surgery. Right from my family to my in-laws to our friends, there were a lot of people who kept checking in on me every now and then leaving me ever so grateful for their presence in my life. Even certain things that I use in my daily life – a watch, bracelet, my current read, a few tea bags, wallet – gave me a feeling of having the people who gifted me these right by my side, holding my hand and giving me the strength when I felt scared. If it wasn't for family, little Adhrith would've had a major melt-down by now. There were times when he felt disturbed and wanted to be with me but his two best friends at home - Muthassi (my grandmother) and Achu maman (my brother) stepped in and took care.
I have no clue how I would’ve cruised this month without this support. There have been many times in life when I’ve argued with friends about how valuable the support of friends and family are. I’ve had many people who tell me that they know how to live on their own and doesn’t need any family support. And like I tell them, of course you can. But then, you will have to live through your sorrows and worries on your own. There will always be hurdles in life, and without people support it is definitely difficult to move forward. There’ll be no one to comfort you when that mommy guilt creeps in, no one to take care of your baby when you are held up with other unavoidable commitments, no shoulder for that comfort when you need it the most, no one to help you take decisions when you are confused and definitely no one to say, “don’t worry, we all are there!”. Trust me, there’s definitely nothing greater than the blessing called friends and family.